Guilt has a hard edge. Being unable to forgive also has a hard edge. Both constrict us, and knock us off balance. When they become chronic they cause free-floating anxiety and fear. Forgiving the other person, done usually as a solo activity, does not mean they are right and unaccountable. This is where we must distinguish between the person and his or her actions, even though the distinction is a bit fuzzy. We forgive the person, but the harmful actions need to be held accountable. Remember, practicing forgiveness is a form of self-compassion. It takes heavy stuff off our shoulders and lightens our load. Start with the little hurts, gaining momentum for forgiving the bigger hurts. As this usually takes time, we need patience. Forgiveness opens the heart to joy and love.
Forgiveness is powerful medicine. Usually we do it alone. Forgiving the other person, or yourself, from your heart. It is a personal mental activity, rarely becoming words to speak to the other person. It is […]
At one level, forgiveness means you shouldn’t develop feelings of revenge. Revenge harms the other person. It is a form of violence and usually leads to counter-violence – so the problem never goes away. At […]
The more we practice, like kneading dough, the softer we become. We are working out the impurities and roughness. This softness is forgiveness. This softness is kindness. This softness is love, towards ourself and others. […]