If we can relate to others on the basis of equanimity, our compassion will not depend on the fact that so and so is my husband, my wife, my relative, or my friend. Rather, a feeling of closeness toward all others can be developed based on the simple recognition that, just like myself, all wish to be happy and to avoid pain. In other words, we will start to relate to others on a deeper level on which we are all the same — wanting happiness and not wanting pain.