We often forget to forgive ourself. Hurts build up inside of us again and again. These hurts cause deep pain. They can fester, and wall off like an abscess. It is imperative that we clear these hurts in order to feel well before they become too ingrained. Forgiveness is the way to do this. Usually forgiveness is a “solo” activity that we do ourself. We can tell the other person, but this is often not necessary. How do we forgive ourself? We start with the small hurts. Mindfulness helps us get in touch with our pain, our hurt feelings. Identifying our pain is the first step. Once identified we expand our fixed notions about the other person who has hurt us. We try to see that person in a bigger light, remembering the positive qualities she or he may have. We try to remember the good times we shared in the past. Then with a motivation to heal ourself, we remember how important it is to let go of the hurt. This does not mean the other person is right. Rather it is self-healing to let go of the hurt to cultivate a feeling of wellbeing.
We all have this potential
Forgiving ourselves creates a beautiful cake called a ‘torma’ in Tibetan. On a deeper level this “cake” is actually the enlightened mind of a Buddha. We all have this potential. Forgiveness helps ripen this. So […]
Just “working on it.”
Now that we have begun the process of forgiving, of course it won’t work right away. We need to be persistent, and very importantly not beat ourselves up when we are blocked and unable to […]
Forgiveness and gratitude
Our default position whenever possible is forgiveness and gratitude. Forgiveness counters arrogance and ego. This moves us towards insight and wisdom. Gratitude opens our heart to compassion. Wisdom and compassion lead to the two bodies […]