Anger shakes us to our core. It also brings fear into the hearts of others. Everywhere I go to teach I ask audiences if anyone never gets angry. Very occasionally there is one hand. I feel the person did not understand the question correctly! Then I ask, does anyone like getting angry? Occasionally someone says yes, they feel emboldened. But soon that feeling morph into guilt. Then what can we do about it? First remember again and again the deficits of anger, both the emotional and physical toll it takes on your health. Gain conviction that anger is not healthy. Then start “looking inside in the present moment,” a form of Mindfulness, to recognize what we are feeling and thinking. Be on the lookout for signs of early anger. What are they? Check inside yourself. Fast heartbeat, fast breathing, feeling frustrated or irritable, becoming loud or somethings the opposite, withdrawing. Maybe you get red in the face. See what your early signs of anger are. When you identify them, think, “I may be getting angry.” Use your imagination to transform the early signs of anger into a cloud way over there in the sky. The cloud drifts and dissolves, along with your early anger. The first time we try this it will not work as we are so habituated with getting angry. Keep trying. Never give up! Eventually it will reduce your anger.
Let’s review anger management as this is our pillar for cultivating compassion. Patience and tolerance are cultivated through transforming anger. Tolerance can easily flourish into love and compassion. Anger management does not mean suppressing our […]
For those interested in understanding the teachings of the Buddha, to eliminate suffering for oneself and others, this schema presented in the last post is crucial to understand. The root of the problem is a […]