It seems that being hard on ourself is in the water we drink and in the air we breathe. It has become such an automatic response, we are rarely aware of the harshness we direct at ourself. Yet it definitely affects us. It creates tension and sadness, maybe even guilt, and depression. We feel we are bad and unworthy. We feel like a failure, of not meeting the mark. This self-flagellation extends into comparing ourself with others. In comparison, we end up with the short stick. We end up feeling never good enough. This attitude has been with us for a long time, often since childhood. We were told or made to believe we were not good enough. This has become our default mode, usually under the radar. Once we begin recognizing the constant putting ourself down, it opens our eyes wide. At first, we cannot believe it. “I never knew I was so hard on myself.” As we start to recognize its dysfunctional nature we begin to muster the courage to put an end to this self-deprecating behavior. Recognizing this “put down mode” we can stand up to it and resist, by telling ourself, NO MORE! As with any chronic addiction, it will not change overnight. It takes time, but with persistence and never giving up, we can uproot this dysfunctional attitude of putting ourself down.
In order to overturn our negative habits, we must first recognize them, and then convince ourselves they are dysfunctional. Without doing this we will not be able to overturn them. Just like quitting smoking. To […]
We tend to judge ourselves and compare ourselves with others. Sometimes we feel we are not as good as others. At other times we feel better than others. This is all the tricky mischievous ego. […]