Forgiving ourselves

Sometimes forgiving ourselves is not enough. Although it is hard to do, when we manage to forgive ourself the pain of hurt and violation often remains. Something else is need to completely heal. Repair means emotional hygiene. That is, to clean up our residual pain often associated with negative feelings and emotions like revenge, vulnerability, and fear. Feeling of revenge can be repaired similar to repairing or transforming anger into tolerance. The details have been discussed on other posts. Both are aggressive emotions. Vulnerability and fear can be repaired or transformed through understanding and compassion. Vulnerability can be a strength allowing us to be open to new feelings and intimacy. Fear can be transformed through recognizing how so many people and animals live with fear. We practice tonglen (taking and giving) linked to the breath. On the inbreath, imagine taking or liberating everyone’s fear, including your own. On the outbreath imagine filling everyone with courage, including yourself, thus becoming a Samurai Spiritual Warrior.