In order to fully care for others, we must take good care of ourself. This is often overlooked. We are very hard on ourselves. We do things to ourself that we would never do to anyone else. What gives us the right to abuse ourself and create so much hardship? Neglecting our own wellbeing and abusing ourself is very sad. It is unnecessary. Disparaging ourself is based on wrong assumptions. We don’t own the self-criticism. Berating ourself did not start with us. When we were little, someone maybe a parent, older sibling, neighbor, or family friend, told us we were no good. Or told us, “girls can’t do that.” Or, “you are never good enough.” Hearing this repeatedly, we started to believe it. Then we acted on it thinking we were not good enough, and even internalized it like a frequent playing record inside our mind and heart. We fully believed it was true. But it is not. Remembering that it did not come from us, but was imposed from someone else outside, we have the right, and indeed the duty, to stop putting ourselves down. We must kick this bad habit given by someone else, out. Building healthy self-confidence and wellbeing is now our new attitude and behavior.
Healthy self-confidence is essential for compassion. It covers both sides of the equation. Humility leads to concern and compassion for others. Self-confidence leads to taking care of ourself through self-compassion. Moving towards this attitude of […]
Just being introduced to the concept of healthy self-confidence is helpful. Of course getting there takes time, maybe a lifetime. It is putting no one down – not myself and not others. It frees up […]